


What is love?

by anna_sun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheesy, Fluff, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:43:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2301920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_sun/pseuds/anna_sun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean heard three synchronized knocks on his bedroom door and saw Castiel, playing with his hands , looking nervous as fuck, he knew something was up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is love?

**Author's Note:**

> This is 'happening' in season 9 I guess, when Cas was human. And they're in the bunker. Also, my first language isn't English but French so bear with me if there's any grammatical errors - I wrote this a long time ago.

Castiel's answers have always been straight forward. It's not like he could help it : when you've been an angel all your life (lives?), you don't learn to sweet talk. Hell, Castiel's way of talking was blank and straight, most of the time without any sign of emotions in it.

When he became human, it stayed.

So when Dean heard three synchronized knocks on his bedroom door and saw Castiel, playing with his hands , looking nervous as fuck, he knew something was up. Something was wrong, he just knew.

''What's going on?'' He asked, and Cas only lingered his gaze on the floor, and seemed to take a breath so deep it almost felt like he inhaled the whole content of oxygen in the room.

''I have a question for you, if you're, of course, able to answer me.'' They didn't make eyes contact.

Dean started growing nervous himself. Cas has been asking a lot of questions lately, about humanity, purpose, emotions, life. He never got stressed out about it, it was perfectly normal to have questions and he and his brother got used to it : explaining things that didn't really need explaining, like talking to a child. But, even then, normally Cas would come to the both of them, wanting different opinions, maybe. Dean didn't know what Cas' question was, but the fact that he was alone to answer it made him hope he had, at least, an answer worth Castiel's expectations. Dean really just wanted to help. 

''Yeah, yeah. Shoot.'' He tried sounding nonchalant, bringing his arms behind his head to rest on them, but then felt his fingers crash a little because of the pressure he was putting on them. Okay, yeah, he probably was more anxious than Castiel was at this point. 

Cas looked even more nervous then, fumbling with his fingers even more, and Dean thought that maybe this was a question about sex or like masturbation. It would be a pretty good reason to be ''ashamed'', especially coming from a former angel. Dean still remembers the day little teenager Sam came to him about it, asking tons of questions he could have just searched the internet for. Sure, it had been a pretty awkward conversation to have with an 11 years old but hey, Castiel wasn't 11 (far from it actually) and so Dean started to relax, ready to tell his friend it was okay, to answer and to laugh it off after. 

He was wrong. So so so wrong. 

When Cas swallowed the lump in his throat, opened his mouth and asked with a shaky voice, 

''What is love?'' 

Dean's heart stopped. 

It took him a good minute to let the words travel to his brain. What was love? Shit. 

''What do you mean?'' Dean asked back, trying to gain himself some time, but mostly to fully understand his friend's question. There was no way he had an acceptable answer to it, anyway, and as he sited up straight in his bed and passed an unsteady hand in his hair, Cas opened his mouth again. 

''I just don't understand the concept of love, I guess. I know you love your brother, and that he loves you back. There's obviously a strong connection between the two of you, but how am I supposed to know if I have a connection with someone who isn't my brother? It's really hard to understand how a word can have so many meanings.'' 

''Oh,'' Dean said and yeah, he understood the question a little bit better. That was a start, right? 

''Well, okay'' He sighed. He had the start of something in his brain, might as well. ''I love Sammy, I really do. But i'm not _in_ love with him, because well he's my brother and like... no.'' That wasn't the best vision his brain gave to him, making him pull a disgusted face and shake his head violently. Yep, not in love with Sammy. 

Castiel nodded. 

''I understand that part.'' 

''Right, just wanted to be sure.''

It was silent for a moment, Castiel still waiting for a correct answer and Dean trying to figure out how to get himself out of this. He thought he could maybe send Cas to Sam, who probably had more rational explications, but Cas came to him in the first place. Cas trusted him. The only thing he wanted was to understand a freaking emotion, and for that he decided that Dean was the right choice. Dean wasn't so sure, but he told himself he could do this. He could basically kill anything and anyone, he sure as hell could do this. 

''Well... I think everybody's idea of falling in love is different. But like, everyone has the basics : wanting to spend your entire life with them, even if it's something impossible sometimes, share, feel and be with them. It's the feeling you could do everything for them, die for them. It's when you care more about them than yourself, when seeing them break is like having your heart ripped out of your chest. It's more than only caring too, they make you happy, as happy as you could be, and... '' 

Dean stopped, looking at Cas in the eyes, trying to compose himself. He wasn't even thinking about what he was saying anymore, the only thing keeping him steady being his own heartbeat. 

''It's the want, too, and the need. Love's also... it's also the attraction. Like they're the most beautiful thing in the whole word and you're stuck between being jealous or just in admiration, I guess. You just love almost everything about them, and the things you don't , they don't matter.''

Dean was breathless at this point. He always knew Castiel was beautiful, inside and out (he also always knew thinking that made him want to punch himself), but he always managed to keep those ''feelings'' at bay.  But now, now it was like he poured out everything without even noticing it and all of his pores were screaming _Castiel, Castiel, Castiel._

''Dean.'' Cas said in a breath, a sigh, a promise.

He stood up from his bed, slowly walking towards Cas who had been standing under his door frame for the whole conversation, and he couldn't stop himself from fully looking at him, from head to toe. He also chose to ignore the tears forming in his own eyes. Dammit. 

He felt hands on his hips, and he barely heard Castiel's ''Thank you'' before their lips felt each other for the first time, Dean deciding it definitely wouldn't be the last. 

The last thing Dean remembered thinking was ''Love is awesome'' before his brain wasn't his anymore. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am very aware you don't fall in love in like 5 minutes but I just wanted to write something where Dean and Cas had a moment alright. I also am very aware that Dean maybe wouldn't be the type of guy to have all of this cheesy description for love in himself but hey, I'd like to think he has. 
> 
> And this is just how I myself see love. Doesn't mean it's the perfect description for it, I had a hard time trying to describe it anyways haha.


End file.
